My transformative and unassisted home birth

You’ll have an unassisted home birth one day.

No midwife, nurse or doula will be physically present. You will plan a water birth but your plan will fail. Your husband will catch the baby in the bathroom. Oh, and did I forget to mention that your oldest daughter will watch the whole thing? 

If somebody had told me that all of this would happen to me one day, I would have not believed it!!!

Well….it did. And I am beyond grateful that it did. 

But let me share the whole story with you. Sit back, relax and enjoy reading about my home birth story in hopes to encourage, inspire and empower you.

I had a hospital birth with my first daughter which was traumatic in the sense that I felt alone, unsupported and pressured to accept interventions I didn’t necessarily need.

Hearing of women who have had similar experiences paints the narrative about how many women view birth. We think it is something we just need to get over with in order to build family.

I knew there had to be another way to give birth, a more pleasurable, empowering and transformational way. I was convinced that it was possible as I started to read, research and study home births.

So, when I found out I was pregnant again, I knew right away, without a doubt, that I wanted a home birth. I was determined to create a more comfortable, positive and empowering birth experience the second time around.

Thanks to my amazing midwife from Mothercraft Midwifery, I felt heard, empowered, and supported. My pregnancy journey was peaceful. I had been given time and space to connect with myself, to be who I was, to feel what I felt without any judgement. My goal for this birth was to surround myself with people who made me feel safe, empowered, and who respected decisions I made regarding my body and my baby. I made plans to have a water birth and for our oldest daughter to be in good hands once contractions would start.

But little did I know that I would share this birthing experience with my husband and daughter only.

It was 2 AM in the morning when my contractions woke me up. 

They were strong from the beginning but remained spaced apart. I took a bath trying to relax but couldn’t get comfortable. As the contractions got more intense I woke up my husband telling him to get the pool ready and contact our midwife. I wanted to be fully present and solely focus on my body and baby.

In the intense stages of contractions I recalled a chapter of Ina May’s book “Supernatural childbirth” where she described the way mammals gave birth. They didn’t doubt their ability to give birth. They would move a lot and let their bodies naturally carry out what they were born for.

I envisioned myself as a large whale floating in the ocean. As I positioned myself on the knees and moved my hips in circles, I made sure my mouth and jaw were relaxed as they are “directly correlated to the ability of the cervix, the vagina, and the anus to open to full capacity”. (Ina May Gaskin, Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth)

I released whatever sound the depth of myself needed to let out. As I felt the urge to push I instinctively went to the bathroom, sat on the toilet and pushed. There was no time to blow up the pool and let the water in.

Being in the safe environment of home, I could let go of everything I’ve been trying to plan, control and surrendered it all. I was living the moment. I was fully present and free.

It was not a fight I had to endure. Every contraction was like a wave that brought me closer to the shore. I let nature and gravity work its way. It was around 6 AM when my firstborn woke up and watched me going through the transition phase and the last stages of pushing her baby sister out.

As I pushed, my husband saw the baby crowning. With the next wave I stood up and our baby girl made a safe arrival in my husband’s arms. I’ll never forget that moment. I’ll never forget the bliss and the ecstatic feeling I had. I never forget seeing my husbands and my oldest daughter’s face as they looked at that little wonder born in our home.

It was messy, real and raw but it was also healing, transformative, and beautiful. It was a sacred moment that we experienced as a family of four.

My midwife joined us a couple minutes after I delivered the placenta.

I know now what a woman’s body is capable of achieving without interference. I know myself better than before now.

Giving birth is one of the most empowering experiences a woman can have. We can change the narrative of how our society views birth.

If you had it all your way, if you let go of fear, control and the what ifs, and connect with your heart, what would your birth look like? Take time to create a birth vision. Know what kind of people you want to be surrounded by and your options in order to have an empowering birth experience.

In the end, what really matters is that you have options, and are supported and respected in the choices you make. Only you know what is right for you. You were made for this.

You are not alone in your pregnancy and birth journey.

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If you live in the Bay Area and are considering home birth, I can highly recommend my midwife Kara from Mothercraft Midwifery. She is AMAZING.